Welcome to The Autistic Doctors, a website that was created, not only as my personal coming out project, but also in the hope that I could help others in a similar position as mine. My aim is to perhaps help identify these autistic traits in some of you, doctors or not, and hopefully pave the way to a formal diagnosis. It could also potentially contribute to putting names on things, thoughts and ideas that are difficult for most of us to define and therefore articulate. Sharing experiences and ideas is not only an act of comfort, but can also be the way to open people to a different perception and most importantly offer an explanation for what has been going wrong in our entire lives.
I am a general surgeon that a few weeks ago, and after having a ton of work related problems, was eventually diagnosed with Asperger’s. This diagnosis was a huge revelation for me and my family. It has changed my life completely and in some ways also who I am. The only analogy that I can relate to at this point is in the movie ‘The Matrix’ , where the protagonist Neo, finds out there is a perfectly legitimate explanation for his feeling of not belonging to this world and that there is something wrong with it. That’s exactly how I feel now, and although I know it is not exactly the world to blame, I also know now that there is nothing wrong with me either, unlike what my ex boss chooses to believe. It is still a big challenge obviously, both to live with the label and adjust to the new reality, but it is also a great relief. Suddenly all your mental health problems start to fade away and you finally have an answer to all your whys! And I know it’s been a lifetime full of whys…
My plan is to post here material for recognising and identifying ASD traits as a first step before an official diagnosis, but also for after a diagnosis has been made. Advice on how to handle certain difficult everyday situations, coping strategies and healing practices will all be discussed here. Because, although we are not broken as society tends to believe, we quite often need to heal ourselves before we are able to heal others. And yes, we can, we have and we will keep on treating patients. Because they need us and because we have a lot to offer, in a different at times way, completing in this manner a fuller and more diverse team of doctors and health professionals.
For those who already know, I invite you to join me in my journey of self discovery, healing and hacking our profession. Building coping strategies and tailoring our jobs to our needs as much as we can. I am looking forward to seeing your views, personal experiences, coping mechanisms and advice. For those of you that suspect it but either don’t yet know for sure or chose to ignore it, I will just quote Trinity: ‘I know why you are here. I know what you’ve been doing, I know why you can’t sleep, why you live alone (or not) and why night after night you sit by your computer. You know something is wrong with the world, like a splinter in your head, driving you mad. If you are looking for an answer, know it is out there looking for you, and it will find you, if you want it to’.
So, what is it going to be, the red pill, or the blue pill? Because for some of us there is no spoon after all.